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| Glory gets it. |
We get crazy questions at the bookstore all the time, but usually they're prefaced with something like, "This is probably a long shot, but do you have..." or "You probably don't carry X, but I thought I'd check, just in case." I like these questions. I LOVE that customers think of our little independent bookstore as a place that might carry unlikely items: frisbees (seasonally), nail polish (sometimes), chemistry goggles (yes, during textbook season), swimming goggles (no), drumsticks (no), glitter glue (obviously), scented markers (usually), wine bottle stoppers (usually), giant carabiners (only recently), or novelty socks (always). I could go on, but you get the picture. Bookstores carry a lot more than just books these days, and I can't tell you how gratifying it is when a customer expresses amazement over our non-book selection.
It's when they get really ticked off when we don't carry something that I have to shake my head. I've been told off for not carrying swimming goggles (see above) or drumsticks (ditto).
Here's a rough transcription of my conversation with a customer today on the phone:
Woman (with a severe case of up-speak): Hi? I'm calling to see what kinds of things you might have on wrestling for kids?
Me: Sure, I can look into that for you. How old is the child?
Woman: He's five?
Me: Okay, great. So, ah, wrestling...um...did you have in mind something like a book about the WWF, or maybe something more like greco-roman wrestling?
Woman: What?
Me: I mean, do you want something like the kind of wrestling you might see on tv for entertainment? Or more like wrestling as a sport?
Woman: I just want stuff on wrestling?
Me: Okay, let me get your name and phone number, and I'll see what books are out there, and I'll give you a call right back.
Woman: Actually, I want wrestling DVDs.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, we don't carry DVDs but I will see what I can order for you.
Woman: You don't have any wrestling DVDs in stock?
Me: No, I'm sorry, but our warehouse might have just the thing if you'd like me to research it for you.
Woman: Well, what books do you have in the store?
Me: I'm afraid we don't carry much in stock in terms of wrestling books for 5 year olds, but I can see what...
Woman: *Interrupting me and mysteriously losing her up-speak* Oh, no. I need it today. Are you telling me you can't help me at all? I called you because I thought you were supposed to be a good bookstore. I should have just called Barnes & Noble!
Yeah, I'm sure the Barnes & Noble the next town over has plenty of wrestling DVDs suitable for a five year old. Good luck, lady. I could hear the dudgeon in her voice as she slammed the phone down.
I should have just directed her to the internet to find suitable gifs, for they are a-plenty!
It's amazing how ridiculous people can be!
ReplyDeleteYou really just want to ask, "Plan ahead much?" I get that people are mostly irritated with themselves for not finding their desired object in a more timely manner, but really, could they stop blaming me for their lack of planning?
DeleteWhen I worked at a lighting store we'd get people in saying "I need 45 of these lights" and would get angry that we didn't absurdly have 45 boxes of large light fittings in our tiny store just because they decided that they should be able to pick fittings up the day the electrician comes. We'd almost always have the lights in stock in our warehouse a 10 minute drive away but that was always too far HOW DARE WE.
DeleteYeah, the 10 minute drive is a TOTAL hardship. You obviously should have hired more psychic employees so that they could anticipate customer requests like that.
DeleteLove this post -- story of my life! I helped a woman recently who was upset that we didn't have a Shirley Temple doll or costume to go with the book Shirley Temple that she bought for her third grader's biography project. Also, she was unhappy we only had one book on Shirley suitable for a third grader. When I suggested she (and her child) visit the library, which is literally within sight of our store, she looked at me as if I were crazy, and said she'd have to go to Barnes and Noble -- which, by the way, is about a 20-minute drive from us. (And poorly stocked to boot, but that's another story.)
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed that you had any books on Shirley Temple for a third grader! Well done, I'd say. And yeah, what's up with people not wanting to use the local library?
Delete...maybe I should follow through on that picture book adaptation of Nacho Libre after all. ..
ReplyDeleteOnly if you promise that you'll let my store host the book launch, Joey! I mean, sure, Book People is right in your back yard, but come on...I call on our shared history of Gravy + Pancake. :-)
DeleteAnd you call your store a good bookstore! LOL! What I find hilarious is the number of wrestling books that are out there for kids! (You piqued my curiosity so I did that google thing) "Wrestling: A Boy's First Book" designed to be read to boys eight and under by a caring adult! And I thought Foxcatcher was weird!
ReplyDeleteYes, well, it takes all kinds, as they say. I did a little googling myself (mostly to find GIFs, not books) and saw LOTS of little boys who looked like they were 2nd or 3rd graders wrestling on a school team. I had no idea that it started so young.
DeleteI look forward to these posts - people are so ridiculous! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat's that quotation from Mr Bennet? Something about being able to laugh at our neighbors and providing sport for them in return? That's about right.
DeleteAnd it's not even a full moon!
ReplyDeleteSo true! :D
DeletePsh, I thought EVERYONE knew that wrestling DVDs for 5-year-olds is a HUGE market.
ReplyDeletePlease continue to post things like this, because they're excellent
HUGE. Obvs.
DeleteLove it! The upspeak, and then losing the upspeak, is solid gold. Wrestling for 5-year-olds. Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the up-speak, and then the loss thereof, were very interesting!
DeleteEmily - you will have to write your memoirs! It will make excellent and hilarious reading.
ReplyDeleteYou might enjoy a book edited by Jen Campbell (a poet and bookseller in the UK) called Strange Things Customers Say in Bookshops. She put out a call for bookseller worldwide to submit their strange scenarios, and one of my coworkers and I are in that one. Fun for dipping in and out of, if you enjoy reading that kind of thing.
DeleteI love these posts! ..I know not of what you speak. :) Thanks for the recommendation, I think Jen Campbell's book might be just the thing.
ReplyDelete